The Many Faces of Hana in Den-O #15

Love is also a four letter word

You may recall some time back, I did a long entry about the many romantic exploits (or lack thereof) of our favorite masked heroes, eventually coming to the conclusion that, by and large, Kamen Riders have even less time for relationships than they do for far more mundane everyday tasks that don't involve punching people or breaking things. You may also recall that I purposely skipped over Kamen Rider V3, based on the complexity of that hero's relationship to his sole female helper...

...the one and only Tama Junko.

And now, the time has come to finally address the little issue of what I like to call "Tokusatsu's Cutest Couple That Never Was."

I'll be upfront about it: as the world's most verbal, and possibly only, self-confessed Shirô/Junko "shipper" (try not to laugh too much now), the relationship they shared is one of the things that I love most about Kamen Rider V3. And it's also one of the most frustating parts of the series. I love it because it's there, and yet it's so terribly underused. This may seem like small beans compared to the way female characters are handled in the newer shows, with their entire purpose hinging on plot swings (case in point: Yui/Shiori/Hiyori suddenly becoming really important later in the game, and then either staying really important to the end or just cooking for the last few episodes.) But hey, keep in mind that in the old days most female characters were around to fill up the main cast roster, occassionally do some fighting (mainly in the original series, with kickass Yuri & Mari) and mostly get captured/kidnapped/rescued by Kamen Rider (Kamen Rider X being a notable exception, and I should bring up that male characters like Taki and Tachibana get captured/kidnapped/rescued by Kamen Rider just as much, if not more often than the girls.)

Ah, but Junko is unique. As the sole female protagonist in the series, she got a bit more attention from the writers, and comes across as a far more memorable character than most. I will readily state that she's my favorite female character in a Rider series, in spite of how the writing treats her later on in the series. By this, of course, I mean how she falls by the wayside, and is just sorta "there". Granted, this is kinda understandable when you're introducing new characters left and right like Yuuki or Sakuma Gen and the like, but c'mon- does anybody even remember Gen as anything other than "Not-Taki"?

But still, Junko never quite gets to live up to her full potential, only hinted at earlier in the series. I'm talking, of course, about the romantic tension established early on from the get-go. While it isn't particularly prevalent until episodes #11~12, once those two hit, WOO BOY does it surface. I'll review those episodes in detail some day, as they're among my favorites from the early batch of V3. But to make a long story short, the bulk of the plot involves Junko learning that Kazami and V3 are one and the same, and Shirô does a lot of angsting over this fact. For her to find out that he is a cyborg is a catastrophic blow, or somethin'.

Of course, he never quite gets it through his head that Junko doesn't really give a damn, and loves him for who he is. Regrettably, this fact is lost in the mix as Destron does what Destron does best and attacks. While V3 spends a lot of time splashing around in the water with Pikeru-Shark (he's supposed to have a Pickaxe, okay? Not a Pickle), Junko gets captured by Drill-Mogura, who has developed something of an attachment to her. Okay, he was basically stalking her in his previous life as a petty thief, but whatever the case, he wants to marry her, and we get the classic "Junko becomes a Kaijin's Bride!" episode. Much hilarity ensues, and Destron pretty much breaks every law in the book when they get a scientist to do the vows.

Things are eventually wrapped up when V3 crashes the party, defeats Drill-Mogura (his partner in crime having already been defeated), and blows up everything and everyone else. And, thanks to a little Rider Logic-Defiance™, all ends well as Kazami convinces Junko he's not V3 by driving off in one direction, walking in with Tachibana from another, and having Tachibana act all "Hahaha, Kazami is V3? No way could this idiot be V3!" And Junko accept it as the truth, with some reservation. To be fair, this does lead to one of, if not the best, Shirô/Junko moment in the series. But man, after that? Whatever romantic tension they had going pretty much becomes one-sided crushing from Junko that goes unfulfilled.

Some V3 fans (and the writers) say that Junko simply became more of a "sister" type of character to Kazami's "older brother", realizing their love was not to be. I say, "Bah!", and that Junko pretty much all but admitted to loving Kazami. But, being as this is a show about guys in funny costumes hitting each other, it's somewhat sensible that they wouldn't dwell on such trivial matters. I say somewhat because, honestly, it just feels kinda unfinished to have Kazami drive off in the end and leave Junko in the dust. If only because that's what always happens, but Kamen Rider V3 was the one time when it could have, and should have, gone a little differently. Of course, that's just my inner softie talking.

I haven't even gotten to the Sugaya-done manga version of V3, and how horribly flawed the V3/Junko interaction is in that, but really, that's a whole other entry just waiting to happen. And I did promise scans of toys and stuff, so enough with the melodrama. I do want to finish by saying that, since any further official Junko appearances are pretty much kaput (aside from a possible shot in Spirits) the Shirô/Junko fans out there will just have to make due with Kamen Rider Sigma, where Junko comes back in a big way, and there *might* even be an eventual reunion. But you'll have to keep reading to find out.

***

Love is a Battlefield

Warning: Some minor series/movie spoilers ahead.

Let's face it: when it comes to romance, the Riders almost always get shafted. Sure, in the original series, Hongô/Rider 1 and Ruriko had a little something going on, and it probably would have been developed further had Fujioka, you know, not gotten in that accident and everything (and even that's assuming, of course, the show didn't get cancelled first.) Ichimonji/Rider 2 is a major ladies' man, but aside from flirting with...well, pretty much every last one of the Rider Girls, he never got any sort of a serious relationship. The FIRSTy versions had their whole wacky little love triangle that ended with...well, I'm still trying to figure out why Katsuhiko and Ichimonji look alike, because the explanation they gave didn't exactly make much sense, but let's move on...

After that, pickings are even more slim:

Riderman: Nada. But just watch, he's going to wind up with the Interpol lady in Kamen Rider Spirits sooner or later.

X-Rider: I'll get back to him in a few minutes.

Amazon: I think Masahiko's sister probably had her eyes on him, but he was too busy tearing somebody in half to notice.

Stronger: Obviously, something was hinted at between him and Tackle, but not until like her last episode, when she kinda went bye-bye. Bummer.

Skyrider: Zilch, but like Rider 2, he was a major playa.

Super-1: Harumi was all over him, but once again, too busy following the Sincere Shaolin Fist path or something.

ZX: There's implications Rumi is crushing on him in Spirits, but c'mon, she's waaay underage.

BLACK/BLACK RX: Our boy Kôtarô pretty much got a bum deal the first time around, but he does hook up with Reiko in BLACK RX, so that counts for something.

Shin: On the one hand, Shin had Ai, and there was much lovin' between them. On the other hand, she wound up pretty dead by the end of the movie. Spoiler Alert!

ZO: Not much luck either. Check out the manga though, he winds up with Reiko. Which means that by due process, he winds up with Annie from Shaider!

J: Zippo.

Kuuga: I always thought he had a thing going on with Sakurako, but it's all for not. And don't get me started on the creepy Godai/Ichijô dôjinshi out there.

Agito & friends: Had a cute little relationship with Mana, but c'mon, she's more like sister than anything else. Another Agito & G3-X got nothing, and Gills fared even worse, getting dumped and having another potential love life cut down before his very eyes. G4...guys, he's a movie-only Rider! They never get this sorta thing. Well, except for Femme.

Ryuki & co.: He had a little fling with Femme in the movie, although it's not much. I mean, this is Ryuki we're talking about, people. We all know about Knight's girlfriend issues, Zolda's pining for (yet another girl named) Reiko, and everyone else was all so painfully single.





Hey! I resent that remark!





Oh, sorry Tezuka. But c'mon, you weren't exactly swimming in girls, dude. Okay, Alternative Zero was married and Imperer might have had a relationship had things played out differently, but that's it.

Faiz & such: Considering how half the time, Faiz plays out like a complex teen drama (albeit with the dead walking the earth, bikes that turn into robots and cool weaponry disguised as high-end electronics) it's amazing that the title character himself never got much of a love life. Oh sure, some say he and Mari had something going on, but they weren't exactly making kissy faces at each other all the time (aside from the movie.)

Especially not with the Kaixa (of the Kusaka variety) around, and his creepy borderline stalker antics. Meanwhile, Delta (Mihara, that is) probably like whatsherface who he almost killed that one time, but come on, does anyone even remember what he did for most of the episodes he was in, other than get his butt kicked?

Blade & crew: Tragedy all around. Blade got nothin', Garren got a short-lived fling that ended pretty badly, Chalice got Amane's puppy-crushing, and...well, I guess things turned out okay for Leangle, although where was Nozomi during Missing Ace?

Hibiki & them Oni guys: HAHAHA! For once, Hibiki and crew rise above the competition. Kasumi obviously had it in for Ibuki, and Todoroki struck it big time with Hinaka in two completely seperate eras. OWNAGE!
...er, right. And I always thought Hibiki would end up with Midori for some reason. He probably will, in some fanfic or something.

Kabuto & the gang: Still too early to tell, but with any luck, Tsurugi/Sasword will end up with Misaki by the end. Or at least she'll fall in love with KA-GAA-MI for real. Hey, it could happen.

You may notice that I left someone off this list. Well, I left a lot of people, but I mean someone actually important. That being the big V to the 3. As anyone who's watched the show knows, he had something of a ...complex relationship with the show's main female protagonist, Tama Junko. I could write an entry in and of itself about that, which I will someday (Special Valentine's Day Edition!) so I'll let that one alone right now.

Back to X-Rider, who I also skipped over. Y'see, despite the fact that his short-lived romance (with the mysterious twins Kiriko & Ryôko, the latter having been his object of affections before she kinda turned out to be evil and tried to kill him) ends tragically, the story does have a happy ending in real life. Hayami Ryô, the actor who plays Jin Keisuke/Kamen Rider X, eventually married Miyama Naoko, the actress who portrayed Kiriko/Ryôko! On top of that, their son, who also went into the acting business, was one of the many to try out for the lead role in Kamen Rider Agito!

Did you get through all of that? Good job, here's a pic of X-Rider getting attacked by excited fans in the '70's (notice Stronger & Amazon in the background, suffering similar fates.)