The Dark (Dragon) Knight

We now enter into that melancholy time of the year when summer vacation ends (or nearly ends) and the kids go back to their schools. And the teachers have to go teach those kids, and so on. So I'm going to do something a little different on this rainy Monday evening. I'm going to talk about...



Also previously known as Dragon Thing. The upcoming U.S. adaptation of Kamen Rider Ryuki, which will be hitting your screens this/next (some month) on (some channel) at (some time.) It's been talked about for months, with an array of exciting tidbits (a leaked test/demo/pilot/something, on-set reports, THAT trailer) popping up every now and then, keeping the fervor high. And just recently, Henshin Justice Unlimited has put up an interesting brief about some of the show's content, specifically the names and some details about the all-important 13 Riders. Make sure you read that first, then read on here. No really, read it, cuz they reported it all first. I'm just giving the wiseguy commentary.

Done? Good. Okay, so let's get one thing out of the way: I like Ryuki. I like it a lot. You're probably rolling your eyes right now, saying "But Igadevil, you like everything Kamen Rider! Except Chiharu." And you're right. But, Ryuki still holds a special significance for me. It's widely known as being the one that broke all the rules, that changed everything, that split fans in two, that kicked off a civil war within Toei/Ishimori Pro. in which the great demon Bandai took all our souls, or some other nonsense. I've always just seen it as being unconventional and unique* but still solidly good, if sometimes a bit deranged. Like many Rider series, its heart is always in the right place, even when its brain isn't. And believe me, there are times when it really isn't. But 9 out of 10, Ryuki shoots and it scores.

*But then, they're ALL like that if you ask me.

What Ryuki really has going for it is the trick. I talk about this trick every now and then. I'm still not sure if it's intentional, or it's just me reading between the lines, and the writers really did just say "Harhar, lezzhav sum Riders faito!" and they don't think about it that deeply. It could be a crazed fan theory I just came up with. But I still see it there, in the underlying narrative of the series. The trick is that Ryuki intentionally undermines its own premise of having 13 "Riders" fight to the death by asking you to decide who the real Riders of the show actually are. And by this I mean deciding between who is in the same league as guys like Rider 1 and BLACK and Agito, and who isn't.

It throws a ton of people at us who all have similar powers, but while most of them just act like super thugs, a couple do the right thing, or at least start to get the right idea. It's kind of complicated and deserving of a post all on its own, but it's the aspect of Ryuki which really clicked with me. The idea that, rather than just telling us "this guy has a belt and powers, so *he is* a Kamen Rider", we're actually being asked is "this guy has a belt and powers, so *is he* a Kamen Rider?" It doesn't hit you over the head with this, which is why I think a lot of people tend to miss it and just see "OMG grill-face evil murderer Riders WTF Ishinomori's dream has been abandoned BBQ!", and that's kind of a shame. But again, it's a big enough topic that maybe I'll talk about it another time.

Okay, so I like Ryuki, we get that. I also quite like a lot of the material details of the show, including the Riders, their alter egos, their motivations, their names, and whatnot. And since a lot of that stuff is going through the blender of U.S. adaptation here, well, what do I think of it now?

In other words, it's time for a little East vs. West action.

Kamen Rider Ryuki is now Kamen Rider Dragon Knight. Which is a good thing, because that's the name of the show. Considering "Dragon Knight" is the probably coolest-sounding version of what "Ryuki" can mean in English, it's pretty much the given. Kamen Rider Dragon Rider wouldn't have the same ring, and Dragon Horseman... yeah. Can't really complain here. The Kit dude who turns into him looks like a good equivalent to Shinji, but I base that entirely on him having longer hair than his #1 buddy...

Kamen Rider Knight, who now goes by Kamen Rider Wing Knight. I guess that, since having a Kamen Rider Knight & Kamen Rider Dragon Knight would have looked weird, Ren's foreign equivalent needed an extra word, and I'm pretty sure "Bat Knight" would have raised some eyebrows. I just hope he gets some goofy catchphrase like "It's Knight Time!" and... actually, on second thought, maybe not. I find it infinitely entertaining that his human name is Len. LEN! Good stuff. And if it's the same dude playing him from that pilot (can we talk about that in public yet?), he looks like a good-match up.

Kamen Rider Scissors has been dubbed Kamen Rider Incisor. So the deal in this version is like, only Ryuki & Knight are the "Knights" and the others get their decks from the Kanzaki equivalent, or something. Which maybe is why he isn't "Incisor Knight". That said, this is one time when I think the new name is as cool as the original. "Scissors" tends to get a lot of flack, but one must understand that 1) in Japanese, it sounds foreign, and thus cool and exotic, and 2)hasami, the Japanese word for "scissors", is also used for pincers like on a crab. So again, it kinda makes sense in context. That said, I like the new name, although I kinda don't think his alter ego in the new show will be a murderous cop who seals people up in the walls of antique shops.

Kamen Rider Zolda has changed his name to Kamen Rider Torque. Okay, I admit I had to look "Torque" up. It's one of those words you hear a lot but never bother to actually understand. Well, in my case. Knowing what it means now, it makes a lot of sense. He is, after all, the Rider with moving gears on his head. I have a strong affinity to Zolda, but I like the letter "Z" so whattya want? According to HJU his human name is Drew, and I really really really hope his last name is Bagon and he's a lawyer in this version.

Kamen Rider Raia switched screen names to Kamen Rider Sting. Raia is an awesome name but understandably changed here, and it still works since he's a sting ray and all. I hope like heck he doesn't have an attack named "Rider Sting" or we're never going to hear the end of it. I was a bit disappointed to learn he's the soldier dude from the trailer, because 1) the whole idea of making the Rider everybody thought would be a girl turn out to be a butt-kicking badass like Takano Hassei who can also SEE THROUGH TIME can never be topped, and 2) the poor bastard is screwed! Probably used to carring an M16 and piloting helicopter gunships, all he gets here is a whip and the ability to steal stuff. Maybe he'll get some new tricks.

Kamen Rider Gai is now unfortunately named Kamen Rider Thrust. No really. I don't have any problems with the name itself, but like Han, I got a bad feeling about this. It is interesting because I think in Japan, such a name wouldn't seem out of place at all. IIRC, one of the villains in Beast Wars II was even named Thrust (to offset the cooler-sounding Dirge.) But in America? Well, who knows. I just forsee many, many jokes. Y'know, like back when it was thought IXA would be named "Kamen Rider Blow". Gai is an infamously simple name (take the Japanese word, change a syllable, taa-daah!) so I guess we'll take what we can get.

Kamen Rider Ouja, alias Kamen Rider Strike. Well, I suppose a big change was inevitable since the genius of Ouja's name is kinda lost in English anyway. Written in Kanji it means "King Snake", but Ouja also means "Monarch" or "Ruler". So we get... Strike. I should bring up that, as a guy who thinks Greek letters make for awesome character names, I don't have any particular issues with the new names I'm discussing here, just looking at them in comparison to the originals. In this case, Strike is pretty standard and I could see a couple of the other Riders pulling it off too. For something more character-specific, I would have gone with Kamen Rider Venom, Kamen Rider Fang, Kamen Rider Cobra (COOOOOOOOOOOOBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!) or Kamen Rider Bastard. But then, there's problems with all of those, some of the legal variety, so I guess we'll make do. Just heap on the "He strikes like...!" phrases, and we're good. Oh, and his human name is apparently JTC. My guess? Just Think Cobra.

Kamen Rider Femme, aka Kamen Rider Siren. Once again, a name that I like quite a lot. I mean, it fits that honking swan alright! While I probably won't follow Dragon Knight with the same enthusiasm of most, I am really looking forward to more Femme (well, Siren) action, which I really hope we get. Cuz you know, me and female Riders... Her human ID is some blonde lady, which is okay. I mean, I'll get used to it. Cuz you know, me and Natsuki...

Kamen Rider Ryuga went with Kamen Rider Onyx. I'm amazed they aren't playing up the fact that he's Ry... er, Dragon Knight's Eeeeeeeeeeeeevil double, but then, maybe he isn't in this. They still plan to explain the similarity I'd hope. Ryuga was a pretty butt-kickin' name back in the day, but I actually love using rock names too. I swear, if I ever finish Kamen Rider Sigma, the next one with be a rock-named Rider. This will be about 2157 (yes, right around the time of the Dalek invasion.)

Kamen Rider Tiger, henceforth known as Kamen Rider Axe. Well, I just hope he still uses the same Visor, that's all. Since Tiger was about as creative a name, I can't say this is a huge step down or anything. I think Kamen Rider Bigass Claws would have been a cool name, but I guess this *is* going out for the kiddies, so... Oh, and his human form looks neat.

Kamen Rider Verde is live and broadcasting as Kamen Rider Camo. This one's tough. Obviously, from an English standpoint, "Camo" makes perfect sense. He's a chameleon, he uses camouflage to blend in with his surroundings. Well, he uses a card that makes him invisible, but you get the idea. I know I'll get used to this one. But the name Verde, for all its simplicity (especially if you happen to speak Spanish) is strongly associated with this guy to me. Since, y'know, he's my favorite of the 13. I even dressed up as him for Halloween once (in and admittedly shoddy if creative rendition.) All I know is, the dude who plays him? He better be good! Because Kuroda Arthur rocks. The new guy sure looks cool (he's already my favorite by virtue of being Verde/Camo), so I've got faith that he'll do the first American Rider* proud.

*He was born in San Francisco!

Kamen Rider Imperer settled for Kamen Rider Spear. While I have some questions about having a Rider named Spear and a Rider named Thrust, and the fact that Imperer kind of uses a dual-head drill, and not a spear... I also think that the name "Imperer" has such mind-bogglingly confusing reasoning behind it that anything would seem run-of-the-mill by comparison. I think I would have gone with Kamen Rider Driller, Kamen Rider Corkscrew or Kamen Rider Stabby, but only because those make me laugh and honestly I don't know what I'd call him. So Spear it is.

Kamen Rider Odin, now called Kamen Rider Wrath. Well, Odin is awesome, yet so arbitrarily picked when you weigh it in with the others. I mean he could easily have been Kamen Rider Ra, Kamen Rider Zeus or Kamen Rider Super Gold (wait, scratch that last one.) So Wrath is a pretty decent alternative. I'm already predicting that he'll either be Kit's daddy, General Xavalaviaxadazallshamalamadingdongiax, or like in the original series, just some guy.

The Alternatives aren't mentioned at all, so stop asking.

Annnnnnnnnnd that's that. So overall, while I think I'll still be calling them Americanized!Ouja and Foreign!Ryuga, the new names and new IDs are lookin' pretty cool. Add in the fact that the trailer (also viewable on the original page in case you couldn't wait to click back to read my ramblings) still looks nifty, and I've got a good feeling about this upcoming adaptation. At least, I'm sure some of my Japanese friends will get a kick out of it.

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