Ask the Experts: The End of Kabuto

With Kamen Rider Kabuto nearing its conclusion in a few more weeks, the question on a lot of people's minds is simply this: "How will it end? Will it be the finale to rule over all others, or will it just be another big confusing mess that resolves little and has everyone get run over a bus at the end?"

The show has been such a roller coaster ride that it's difficult to say how exactly the ending will turn out, and beyond the magazine pics that have hinted at an inevitable final showdown between Kabuto and Dark Kabuto (which could happen next week, for all we know) there really isn't much else other than speculation, unless you're either working on the show or can somehow see the future. And seeing as how I neither work for Toei (yet) nor am I psychic (working on that too) I have absolutely no clue.

Fortunately, I do have many connections on the inside.

Unfortunately none of them know either, but that didn't stop me from asking for their opinion on just how Kamen Rider Kabuto will end!

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Hundred-Eyed Titan
Black Satan Officer

Hahahahaha! Insolent fools! I will crush you a-

....what? The end of Kamen Rider Kabuto? I have no clue who that even is.

....I see. Is this "Kabuto" related to that meddling Stronger?

...he is? They're both beetles you say? Well @#$%! He'll be destroyed too, by the might of Titan!

...what? Who is this "Kuuga" person and why does he have a "Titan" form?

...wait, there's another Rider villain named Titan? Since when!?

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FIRSTy Ichimonji Hayato
Professional guy who looks like other people

First things first, I am not your dead fiance. Well actually I am, but I'm not. You see, I was only pretending to be him to get close to you, as I magically look just like him. But I'm not really him, okay? I just look like him, and sound like him, and I feel the same way about you that he does about...er, he did about you. Did, as in the past, because he's not here any more, and he's especally not me. I'm also not that psychic dude either, he's another guy. Wait, maybe he is me. I forget. Who am I again?

Oh, Kabuto? I have no idea how he's going to end up, but I know that I'm not him, I can promise you that much.

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Kenzaki Kazuma
Full-time Kamen Rider, BOARD-certified

Oh wow, Kabuto! What an exciting year it's been, right guys? That Tendô, he's a really cool guy! Like Tachibana-san and Hajime-san combined! Wow! Kinda like that Titan guy we fought once. No, not the eyeball dude Stronger-senpai fought, the other guy who was- oh wow, look, TheBee is coming back! Cool! Kamen Rider TheBee! Bzzzzzzzzzzzz! That Yaguruma guy was super cool, too bad he was gone for so long, but he's back! As Kick Hopper, that's cool! I bet he could have taken that Locust Undead no problem!!! Well, anybody could have taken him, he was weak!! I took that one down without even using any cards! Wait, I did use one, but it was so fast, nobody saw it! I remember that, then there was Tachibana-san standing there watching and I was all like "Tachibana-san what are you doing!?! I need help Ahhhhh!!" That was so crazy! I bet Kabuto's ending will be even crazier, hey anybody want to go help me fight the Undead? That's a Kamen Rider's job, right? Fight monsters, save peopel, for great justice! Wooo! C'mon, hope on my bike, we've got a date with some ugly undead monsters, yeah! Oh wait my cell phone is ringing, hey Kôtarô man what's up? No not that Kôtarô, the other one who wrote the book about me an made a ton of cash and now lights cigars with 10,000 Yen bills while I'm working as a garbageman but man, can he throw one hell of a party! Well, that was actually Amane's birthday party, but he's like her uncle or something, right? Yeah! That was wild, I just wish he had brought some of those bunny girls along, where did they go for the rest of the movie? Instead I got stuck dealing with Larc, man if Hajime were around more he would have totally thrown her off a barge or something, cuz he was a badass even though we hated each other at first and- hey! My cards are all gold and shiny when I go to King Form, that rocks!

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Inui Takumi
Part-time Dry Cleaner

Whatever.






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Doktor G, Ph.D.
Destron Officer

Kamen Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider Kabuto, huh? I guess it'll be pretty good, I like that Nogi guy. He just needs to do the time-freezing thing before the heroes even Henshin, then take 'em down. Too bad I didn't have that when I was fighting against Kamen Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider V3, then I might have won! Speaking of which, considering that fight ended with me getting blown to bits...how the hell am I writing this?

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Asakura Takeshi
Ex-Convict

Dude, remember when people thought I was the biggest badass ever? Then Kaixa came along, followed by Chalice, and now Kick Hopper. On top of that, people think that Shadow Moon guy is like, God or something, and could kill every Rider ever like it was no big deal. How times change.
Also: I'm getting nervous!!!11!one

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TheBee Zecter
Full-time Zecter/Attention-Seeker

OMG OMG WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!! YAGURUMA I CHOOSE YOU WHEEEE!!1! NO wAIT KAGAMI 4 EVAAAAAAAAAAAA! OMG NO HE IS DESTINED TO BE WITH THAT GATACK JERK, OMG KAGEYAMA RULEZ!!! HE OWNS YOUR GRANDMOTHER, TENDOOOD! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE! OMG WAIT MISHIMA IS JAWESOME! HEY WHAT THE YAGU IS BACK, BUT AS A HOPPER!1? nOT COOL MAN, NOT COOL! bUT WAIT TENDOU LOVES ME NOW WHEEEEE! OMG OMG ALL ZECTER COMBINE SOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOL WOW AWESOME OMG WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! THEBEE POWER SUPER ULTIMATE RIDER STING TYPHOON CYCLONE OMG WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!1! WAIT LOOK I'M GONNA COME BACK OMG WHO WILL I BEEE? TADOKORO DUDE I LOVE HIS HAIR, SOOOOOO COOL AND HE'S LIKE A NA-OH WAIT SPOILER WARNING LAWLZ MY BAD OMG WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!1

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Kazama Daisuke
Professional Make-Up Artist

I just hope I don't die.






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