Unfortunately, none of them wrote back, so I had to get whoever else was around. Well, Deneb did eventually cave in and send his thoughts along, right before filming the final episode no less!
As with last year's entry, the answers are insightful and telling of just what we might see this Sunday as another chapter in the Kamen Rider saga comes to a close...
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed below do not necessarily conform to the opinions of Igadevil.
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Asakura Takeshi
Ex-Convict, Melancholy Aging Anti-Hero
LOL first post!!!!!! I am just that much teh awesome! Or something.
God, I feel old some times. You guys remember how back in 2002, I was THE man? No, really; I was a king of kings, a god among men, the big Kahuna, Cheese and Shot all rolled into one. I was on top of the world! Nobody could touch me. And I got nearly all the same toys as the main three. Speaking of them, why did they make Zolda one of the main three anyway? He was a bastard through and through! We'll just forget the fact that he has character development in the goofy episodes, because who liked those anyway? Totally did not fit in with the rest of the show, with all the epic drama! Well apart from like, every scene with Shinji, and the one where Gai takes over ORE Journal, and Yui's Aunt, and the weird girl who wanted to make out with her computer, and Imperer, and if you're really messed up in the head, you found Tiger extremely funny... okay I guess the show wasn't that serious after all, but man, we had killing! Death! Riders lived, Riders died, and nothing was ever the same again.
...yeah, I know, I know. Nothing that hadn't been done before. Except we did it with cards. Cards! Considering the fact that we were jamming cards into our sword handles and still managed to look badass while doing it, that tells you something, don't it? We were actors, baby! Entertainers! Yeah... anyway, I'm totally not looking forward to seeing what they do to me in that Dragon Thing show. I'll probably be like, all metro or something...
What, Den-O? Hell if I know. But I bet I could take him. I can take anybody. I'm the greatest Rider ever!!!
...well at least I used to be. I know, I know, times change. I'm falling behind. In 2003 it was Kaixa-this, Kaixa-that. Then it was Chalice. Then... well, we'll skip 2005. Then it was Yaguruma, although I think EVERYBODY in Kabuto was the "greatest Rider ever" at some point. And now it's all about the Zeronos. Or at least it was, maybe it changed. I don't know, I don't follow these things any more.
...Yeah. Sorry, these things always make me miss 2002. The year when everything changes. Well, the year in the century when everything changes to paraphrase Captain Jack.
Anyway: I'm getting nervous!!!11!one
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Kurenai Wataru
Kamen Rider Kiva
Hey kids! Watch my show!
It starts next week on TV-Asahi!
It's got vampires!
And I'm in it!
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Yaguruma Sô
Tormented Soul, IKRB Regular
Ha! Did you actually think you'd get through another one of these without hearing from the King of the Losers™ himself? No such luck, compadre.
In spite of all that, I envy you. Yes, you. That's right. Not him, not that other guy, not that fangirl with the sceenname yaguchan124573, but you. You see, all the people reading this blog think I'm talking to them. But I'm really just talking to you! Because you laughed. Laughed. At me. Laughed. At. Me. That is, at me. You laughed. L-A-U-G-H-E-D. Laughed at me, you did. But the thing is, I know something that you want to know, but until I tell you only I know, and you don't know, you know? I know. Who's laughing now?
When I fell into Hell, I saw things you'd never believe. I saw the world for what it really is, a big pile of filth and corruption and— no, not that kind of filth you numbskull! You know what I mean. Anyway, it seems Toei didn't take me up on my offer to be a supporting Rider in Den-O. Well, their loss. What would they want a loser like me for, anyway? Wait, that doesn't— aw, never mind.
So how does it all end, you ask? Well, I'll tell you what, I know the answer. I know this because, like the Den-Liner, I can travel through time (and space, don't forget space) because I live in the shadows. The DARKNESS. If you live there, you can go anywhere you want. Actually, you don't even have to live there! Seriously, try it out. Get up, turn off all the lights in the room, and then sit back down in front of your computer. Minimize that window you keep refreshing waiting for a new fan sub of Live Honey Cute or whatever it is to appear, and pay attention.
Done? Good. Now. We're travelling through time. Just you and me. Because in the darkness, we can't see the light, and the light shows us what's really there. But the darkness doesn't show us anything. So we can't see. Makes sense, right?
Whoa! Holy crap, here we are, back in 1979. Skylab is going to crash or something, Disco is dead and the Muppet Movie is coming out soon! God, I love those Muppets. What? Er uh, I mean, I love DARKNESS! There we go.
Whoops! We just went forward again. To 2006, where Den-O always seems to go. Apparently that was a really sucky time to be in Japan or something. Pretty funny huh? Hahahaha— oh wait... right.
Okay, anyway... ZOOOOOM! Here we are, Sunday morning in 2008. Holy bananas, there it is! The end of Den-O! That was cool, wasn't it? Yeah, I thought so. Almost as cool as that time that Kageyama and I totally kicked Tendork's butt.
Speaking of which, I don't know about you, but I'm already positive that Den-O's ending will be a million billion times better than the stupid Kabuto one that I wasn't even in (Spoiler Warning by the way,) you know the one where Tenjerkface destroyed the meteorite which levelled Shibuya (and entire section of Tokyo) with flower power. FLOWER @#$%ING POWER! With Darkness, yes. Flower Power? No.
So yeah. Rock on, Whateveryournameis-taro. You're way better than Tendumbass any day!
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Tendô Sôji
Professional Man Who Walks the Path of Heaven, Ruling Over All
Grandmother said this: "Your momma, Yaguruma. Your. Momma."
Anyway. Another year. Another battle. And just like me, a couple episodes prior the Owner said something along the lines of "the real battle begins now". Because it did, and it has, and now it comes to an end. But more importantly, we learned that the Owner heeded my words. And because of that, he is a treasure of the world. As is Kamen Rider Den-O.
Grandmother said this: "The past should give us hope." Well okay, the watch said that, but I retroactively am adding that it was Grandmother who gave whatsisbucket the watch in the first place. I mean, where else did it come from? And no, don't even start with the Doctor Who references.
...
Grandmother also said: "My show's ending wasn't that bad, was it?"
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Kamen Rider Sabaki
Ill-fated Ongeki Warrior
Oh God! They're everywhere! I can't hold them off any more! Giant crabs, giant spiders, cat people, turtle-men, people in funny hats, everything! And a dog that walks like a man and is on fire! Somebody, help! Call for back up! My apprentice was devoured by a giant slow-moving CGI slug thing that's half mushroom, that's the sixth time this has happened! Oh the humanity! The central office isn't going to like this...
Agh! My mini guitar knife weapons are useless! What's my role again? Am I a drum-type or a wind-type or a string-type? I don't know! I wasn't paying attention when my mentor talked about that stuff. Oh God! They're invading the village... granted it's just some podunk in the middle of nowhere, but oh God! All those hikers... all those nice old people... all those farmers who see a giant two-headed rat and think it would be a good idea to stand there and say "You're funny-lookin'". Oh! Oh it's terrible! Hibiki-san! Ibuki-san! Somebody! I need help here! There's an infestation of evil! I don't know what we did, but the Makamou are out of control! It's like a warzone out here! No, it IS a warzone! It's madness! Oh God! They're coming out of the trees! The bushes! Everywhere! Nowhere is safe, run for your lives!
Oh wait, look, there's that armor that looks like Henshin Ninja Arashi. Now we'll... ARGH! My arm! That bastard cut my arm off! Shuki? What the hell Shuki? Just because you look uglier than all the guy Oni doesn't give you the right to... oh no! Orochi! They've brought Orochi back and now the world is doomed! DOOMED!
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!
...Unless this is the movie continuity, then everything's okay.
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Jiro
Guitar-playing android vigilante of justice
Wait, why am I here again?
...Oh. Well I guess that makes sense. I suppose I can see how you'd get Den-O out of Denji-Endo, but I still don't see why— Well, okay, fine.
I suppose it'll end with a big battle where Den-O saves the world because really, isn't that how all these things turn out? Worked back in '73, gonna work again in '08. Maybe someone will go to Switzerland at the end too!
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Hibiki
Ongeki Warrior
Oi Shônen! I have to be honest with you, I literally have no idea how Kamen Rider Den-O is going to end, but I bet it'll be good! It always is, isn't it?
...Well okay, I guess it's usually good. I have a good feeling about Den-O though. I mean, that Momotaros guy? He's got class. We could use more people like him around Takeshi. Especially ever since Inoue decided to make Ibuki turn emo at the last minute when we needed him most, and I had to play the trumpet. And let me tell you guys, fighting monsters with a guitar is one thing, but a trumpet is another matter all together.
Anyway... Kiriya! Kiriya, Kiriya, Kiriya. You've come a long way, Shônen. When I knew you, you were brash, impulsive, scheming, and always trying to prove yourself. Now you're... well, all of those things, but at least you've got your buddy Deneb to reel you in now and then. And that's what friends are for. Well, that, and having great character-building moments like in my show!
So yeah, Den-O ending. It's going to be good, you can trust me on that. And when have I ever been wrong? Well, apart from Asumu... sorry, Asumu, M.D. But hey, you can't win them all, can you? Well, you can when you're well-trained! And if I'm anything, it's—
Oh, sorry. Sabaki just called, he's getting slaughtered again. Don't worry, he'll live. Enjoy the end of Den-O! I know I will!
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Deneb
Yuuto's #1 Pal
I just hope I don't die.
And I hope Yuuto doesn't die either.
Actually, I hope nobody dies!
Hopefully the candy I gave the writers will pay off!
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Bwahahahahaha!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat as always, Iga-san!
Love the Deneb bit, as well as the Hibiki bit, too! Xd
XDDDD great!
ReplyDeleteDamn it Yaguruma, you just had to prove you were talking to me. Now I can hardly see anything and I dunno if the Live Cutie Honey has been updated or anything.
ReplyDeleteDamn it Iga, Keep your guests on a leash. . . I think Yaguruma might be stalking me. At least they give you such good articles though!